Time
by RegenTaenzer
Summary: Ide returns to the taskforce and Matsuda begins to wonder about him.
1. Time

When did he get so... Attractive?

Matsuda tapped his pen idly as he cast a long look to the side of him to his fellow investigator. He had known and worked with Ide for about two to three years, but could not recall having felt this way toward the man ever before. It was only yesterday when Ide had come back to the task force, and Matsuda had discovered something particularly alluring about him.

It must have been a refreshed newness that Ide had brought into the task force. For six years it was basically the same people, with the only exception of Wedy and Aiber. During much few years that Ide had quit the task force for continuing to work as an investigator, it was rare that Matsuda would see Ide since the task force and NPA were no longer cooperating.

After all, time has a funny way of bringing people together.

Ide must have felt watched, as he glanced quickly toward Matsuda out of the corner of his eye every once in a while. When he did this, Matsuda would merely act as though he were doing something or would just offer something of a goofy smile. Eventually, however, it began to bother Ide. He turned to Matsuda with a questioning glance, "What?"

Matsuda simply shrugged and grinned, "Nothing."

This was, of course, met with a suspicious look from Ide before he went back to watching the monitors that he was assigned to watch. The rest of their monitoring duty was slightly awkward, though Ide did his best to ignore his co-worker.

Thinking about his co-worker was quite distracting, and Matsuda knew that intra-departmental relationships were greatly frowned upon-- destroying much of the likelihood of a relationship, even if he did have a chance. He knew he should just drop the cause.

But his heart dictated otherwise.

"Hey, Ide-san?" Matsuda watched the screens that he was assigned as if he'd been watching them the whole time, not bothering to turn his gaze toward the objection of his affection.

Ide looked over with a questioning look, which Matsuda could see out of the corner of his eye.

Nervous, Matsuda lost the courage he had mounted and simply ended up blurting something dumb, "Do you think something'll happen?"

This question caused Ide to turn his attention onto Matsuda's screens, "Maybe."

By this time, Matsuda was hoping that Ide didn't think the oh-so popular idea that Matsuda was just a dumb fool. That, and he hoped Ide didn't spot the vague tinge of crimson that he could feel burning on his cheeks. Defeated, he leaned back in his chair with a quiet sigh.

Misconstruing this action, Ide simply noted, "If you're getting tired, someone else might trade shifts with you."

"N-no, I'm alright," Matsuda waved his hand dismissively and grinned sheepishly.

Ide nodded and went back to work.

Okay, okay; I'll just try to focus on these monitors and get through this shift, then I can go and try to get him completely off my mind, Matsuda consoled himself. He was confident that he could force himself to go through his shift and focus on the work at hand. After all, he was an investigator and investigating was what he was supposed to do. Not daydream about a co-worker.

What bothered him, however, was that beside maybe Light or Soichiro, Matsuda had never felt such a way about a man. He didn't feel strange about feeling fond of Light because, well, who wasn't? Soichiro, too, wasn't as strange, as it was much more of an intense admiration than actual love. Nevertheless, it was somewhat intriguing-- No, no. It wasn't intriguing; it wasn't right. Matsuda shook his head, attempting to shake the thought. He was and always would be attracted to women, and as far as he could tell, so was Ide. There was no chance. Not at all.

Once his shift was over, Matsuda stood and quietly left the room for his own. To his surprise, he was followed by another.

"Matsuda-san," a familiar voice called to him.

Stopping short, Matsuda turned around. "Y-yeah?"

"You seemed really out of it," Ide spoke when he caught up. "Are you alright?"

Matsuda nodded, "Yes, I was just… uh." He hoped that the burning feeling of embarrassment wasn't visible to Ide, or anyone for that matter.

Ide looked unconvinced, "Are you sure? You're flushed…"

That did nothing to alleviate Matsuda's nervousness; in fact, it only made it worse. Matsuda laughed nervously, "No, its okay. Really."

"You've been acting strangely, Matsuda-san…" Ide couldn't figure out whether Matsuda had begun acting like before he'd returned to the task force or because he had. Or maybe it was just that Matsuda was just sick and didn't want to admit it because he figured that someone would force him to recover rather than be of use in the investigation? Whatever the case, Ide wanted to sort it out.

Matsuda grinned sheepishly and laughed, "R-really?"

Ide nodded, "Do you have a problem with me being back on the task force?"

"Of course not!"

"You kept looking at me."

So he must have seen. Knowing that his covert glances weren't so covert, Matsuda felt like a fool, "About that… I don't know."

He was given an odd look from Ide that compelled him to actually explain. Matsuda sighed, "Alright, alright. I'm fond of you, Ide-san."

"What?"

Matsuda couldn't decide whether it was Ide hoping that he heard him wrong or that Ide was just in some sort of disbelieve. Neither situation made Matsuda all too happy. "I said I was fon--"

"I know. I heard you."

The only thing Matsuda could do is look at Ide quietly, hoping that he would gain some kind of context clue to how the man was taking it. He didn't expect that Ide would take it well. After all, not too many straight men might be flattered if another man felt for him in a level more than a friendship. If he could, he would have taken back what he had let his love interest know. Thus was the trouble of being impulsive about the things he said.

Closing his eyes, Ide tried to compose himself. He hadn't expected his friend to admit to such a thing, and couldn't make out just what he thought about it. Ide had never thought of Matsuda in the way that Matsuda had thought of him, and he wasn't sure how to respond either. It was not that he was inexperienced in love--although he was not overly experienced either--but he had never come across this type of situation. How does one respond to a friend's confession of love?

Uncomfortable in the silence, Matsuda laughed and slapped Ide on the back. It was just easier to act like nothing had happened. "I'm heading back to my room, Ide-san. You can come and talk if you want."

He didn't give Ide a chance to respond either way, and simply headed back to his room casually-- or at least as casual as he could make it look. Matsuda both dreaded and was excited to hear footsteps following after him, his heart racing. In his anxiousness, he found himself walking rather quickly and thus slowed to his normal pace. It was, however, quite difficult to maintain a level disposition in this situation.

Once Matsuda arrived at his room, he hesitated closing the door a moment so that Ide could come in. However, much to his disappointment, Ide continued walking. Likely, his aim was just as Matsuda's--to go to his own room.

After a moment or two, Matsuda closed his door and dropped himself rather dejectedly to sit on the bed. He slumped in defeat, moving to undo his tie to make himself more comfortable while he was at it. He never expected anything like this when he'd woken up this morning. In fact, he had just expected a day like any other. Why did today have to be so miserable? From what he knew, it had been a nice, sunny day-- one of those days that nothing could go amuck.

He couldn't change the past. All he could do was work toward a less awkward workplace. This could probably be achieved through, well, making sure that Ide no longer thought he had feelings for him as well as getting over Ide in the first place. Dealings with love was sometimes easier said than done, so Matsuda was sure it would be a bumpy ride. He just would try to make the best of it.

Quite some time had gone by, and Matsuda decided it was about time to go to bed. As for thinking about his situation with Ide, Matsuda figured that it was better left alone for the night. If he needed to, he would deal with it. But that was for a later day.

Reporting to work the next morning was a difficult endeavor. Matsuda felt tired from the night prior, and as much as he promised himself that he wouldn't worry about it, he didn't sleep well. That, and a dread hung over him like a storm cloud. Still, he put on a smile and headed out to headquarters.

The last thing Matsuda wanted to do was be considered to be even less use than he'd already been considered. With this in mind, it was already blatant that he could not be bothered by unrequited feelings--or any feelings for that matter.

After a few days, Matsuda had come to find that his little crush had dissipated. He did still find Ide inexplicably attractive, he had successfully "moved on" like he had been trying to do. It was a great relief and a giant burden removed from his shoulders; there needn't be a reason to feel awkward around Ide anymore. In that regard, Matsuda's actions were legitimately normal.

"Matsuda-san," Ide had caught up with Matsuda after his shift.

"Hm?" In response, Matsuda looked curiously over to his co-worker.

Ide seemed nervous, almost. Perhaps unsure. Whenever Matsuda's eyes met his, his eyes darted away in an adverted gaze. "I was thinking about what you said before."

What I said before, Matsuda speculated. He grinned foolishly in an act of playful teasing, "That you have no sense of romance? Its okay, Ide-san!"

Crimson burned on Ide's cheeks, the man was silent.

How Ide reacted thoroughly made him feel bad. He had expected that his romantically-challenged co-worker to react as per before--shout angrily in embarrassment. The reaction was funny and usually only resulted in temporary brooding, but he never really meant to hurt the man with what he said. Matsuda's grin melted slowly into a frown, "I-I'm sorry, Ide-san. I didn't mean to offend you."

"No, no. Its alright," Ide responded coolly.

Still frowning, Matsuda shook his head. "Really, I'm sorry. But what were you going to say?"

It seemed as though Ide was doubting that he should say what he was meaning to. Irony was, honestly, dripping from the situation. Ide was very well-acquainted with the literary term for the situation he was now in. A similar situation had happened in reverse roles only a few days prior.

Quickly stepping in front of Ide, Matsuda stopped and put both hands on his shoulder. "Ide-san," Matsuda offered a reassuring smile. "Just tell me, okay?"

Averting his eyes, Ide continued to consider. A moment later, he shook his head, "No. It wasn't important anyway."

Before Matsuda could come up with a retort, Ide broke away and walked off. He didn't want to deal with this, especially because the other man refused to take his seriously. They hadn't been around each other much the past few years, and Matsuda never seemed to mind poking fun at him. He didn't know if it was unintentional or not, but it bothered him. Why would he bother admitting his love to a man who always jerked his chain?

Stunned by this reaction, Matsuda remained where he was with an utterly confused look and watched as the other man walked off. He couldn't help but feel bad; however, he was sure it would be counterproductive to chase after him now. Rather, he would drop by Ide's later.

Its only when you think you've gotten over someone that they come back into your life and you have to start all over. Matsuda found that he couldn't get Ide back out of his mind, especially because he wanted to know what Ide had to say. It could have been anything from a belated response to Matsuda admitting his affection to something as simple as an off-hand statement he'd made at some point. He could think of hundreds of different things.

Finally, his curiosity got the better of him. Beside that, he wanted to make sure that Ide knew that he didn't mean it when he teased. Of course, he headed over to Ide's room.

Knock knock; Ide's attention was drawn from the book he'd settled down to read as someone knocked on his door. Without much thought, he put his bookmark in, closed and put down the book, and answered the door. Upon seeing Matsuda standing there, Ide frowned and considered just closing the door. However, his urge to close the door lost to his wanting to retain a polite affiliation as a co-worker at least.

"I'm sorry I offended you earlier, Ide-san." Matsuda rubbed the back of his head. "I only meant to joke around with you. I wasn't trying to upset you."

The apology was returned with a dull look and an equally unenthusiastic nod.

Hurt by the cold way his apology was received, Matsuda frowned, "What more do you want me to do? I apologized to you, but you're still mad at me. I'll do anything, Ide-san. What can I do that will stop you from being mad at me?"

The door was closing, and Matsuda didn't want to let this go so easily. With this in mind, he wedged himself in the doorway so that Ide could not close the door, "Damn it, Ide-san! Please!"

Knowing that he had lost this round because he could not close out his co-worker, he stopped trying and allowed Matsuda to make it to the other side of the door before closing it. Without a word, he walked back over to go back to his reading.

Stubborn, Matsuda followed and sat down near him. He didn't say anything, allowing the silence to envelop the room and hang over their heads like a dark storm cloud. It bothered him, but waiting it out was as good as it seemed that it would get.

Ide had his literature, enabling him to ignore the offending man and so he didn't mind the silence much at all. Matsuda, on the other hand, was much too impatient about it.

Matsuda finally shouted in frustration and mussed his hair. Instinctively, Ide glanced up to see what Matsuda was doing but went back to reading once he confirmed that it was just a harmless act of frustration; he felt bad that he was giving the other man the cold shoulder, but there wasn't much else he could do.

Not being able to take it any longer, Matsuda stood and lunged forward. His hands landed on either side of Ide, he himself leaning forward enough that he could move in for a swift kiss.

Not only startled from the forcefulness of the approach but also surprised by the following action, Ide instinctively jerked back and stared.

This, too, was not the response that Matsuda had wanted, but he couldn't blame the man. He felt ashamed of his action, and wished that he hadn't so impulsively carried it out. Sheepishly, he shrunk back before heading toward the door to leave.

It took a moment for Ide to react, his face burning. "M-Matsuda-san."

Wincing, Matsuda stopped mid-reaching for the knob and looked over his shoulder.

Ide stood, putting his book down before starting toward Matsuda. He was nervous of the reaction he would warrant, even amidst all that had happened, but he decided that it was stupid to try and act the way he had been acting. Matsuda was just one of those people that you couldn't stay mad at for a long duration of time; and not only that, but he had found that he did have some feelings for Matsuda. It had taken him so long to respond to Matsuda's declaration a few days back because he was deliberating and trying to decide exactly how he had felt about it. He was about to admit it previously, but had been far too afraid to say it after he had been, how he perceived it, as ill-natured teasing. But would Matsuda really tease someone out of some sort of cruelty? It didn't seem likely.

Exhaling deeply and silently, he prepared himself. "Matsuda-san, I was thinking about what you had said a few days ago."

Matsuda turned, finally, to face his speaking co-worker. Knowing that a speech had begun this way before that Ide responded negatively to his joking, he said nothing but nodded.

He was never good at this, which was one of the reasons that he wasn't so romantically fortunate. It always made him feel so nervous, so naked. "I was thinking about how you said that you were fond of me. I wasn't sure before, but now I'm certain."

Silently, Matsuda hoped that the other man would hurry up and say what he thought the man was going to say. He was sure that he knew what it was, and the eagerness to hear it was killing him.

"I love you."


	2. Time and Again

The confession never came. Matsuda's heart sank, having expected something of a romantic story's beautiful conclusion. He had been so sure that Ide would have uttered the words "I love you," but he was so far from the truth.

"I care for you, but…" Ide spoke hesitantly.

But? But what? Matsuda didn't know what to think, his heart racing right along with his mind. Was it a good 'but' or one that was leading into something that would be consolation. "But..?"

Ide shook his head, wishing he didn't have to say this. In truth, he didn't want to hurt his friend, his co-worker. Not to mention, he didn't want to feel awkward either. "But I can't love you."

Hurt surprise took over the entirety of Matsuda's face. It was unmistakable that the man was not expecting this. There was not much he could think to say, especially now that he couldn't think straight. You can't love me, Matsuda questioned mentally. "Ide-san… W-what?"

"I can't love you, Matsuda-san…" He couldn't look the other man in the eyes.

Grasping for words and finding none, Matsuda opened his mouth only to close it a moment afterward. Giving up on this endeavor, he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply to gain composure. He forced a smile and laughed shamefacedly, "Th-that's alright. I should have known and not said anything in the first place."

Subsequently, Matsuda patted Ide's shoulder and left.

Once out of the room and far enough down the hall that Ide couldn't hear, he broke out into a run. It had no particular purpose other than to get his built up emotions out of him. After a while of running around the area of headquarters, Matsuda finally felt drained enough to head back up to his room and go to bed for the night. His breathing was rapid and heavy, his body ached, but he felt much better.

Getting to his room, however, he found that he was far too tired to actually bother taking a shower. Taking one tomorrow morning wouldn't kill him. So with that in mind, Matsuda simply stripped down to his boxers and climbed in bed.

Ide, on the other hand, was having trouble getting to sleep. Guilt racked his conscience incessantly. He knew it would be a lie to tell Matsuda that he loved him, yet he couldn't help feeling that he had hurt the other man's feelings. Much of the night was spent lying in bed and staring at the ceiling whilst he thought about the situation he had found himself in.

Although the morning came quickly for Matsuda, Ide wasn't as fortunate. It seemed to take forever to get to sleep, only to fall asleep with two odd hours before he had to be awake.

Matsuda awoke and did as planned. He wasn't feeling as bad as he had the day prior, which was always a big bonus. As long as he didn't give too much thought to what had happened, he was confident that he could act as he always did. He'd gotten over Ide once already this week, so Matsuda figured that it wouldn't be too large a hurdle to do again.

The alarm went off. Groaning, Ide threw an arm out to hit the snooze bar and closed his eyes once again. It had felt as though he slept a good five minutes, there was no way he was getting up right yet. Once the alarm went off again after the period of time the snooze offered, he finally dragged himself out of bed and got ready to face the day.

It was a difficult shift to pull through. Ide was wrestling with the ill effects of not sleeping well, and trying to balance those effects, work, and the feelings he was still sorting through. Watching Matsuda be so… cheerful, he just didn't know what to think. He remembered the hurt expression; he remembered the way that Matsuda pretended to be alright just before he left. Or did he remember? The whole night after work was something of a blur and a wave of mixed feelings. He couldn't be sure that he was remembering everything as it really was. For all he knew, it could have just been a miserable dream--it was not, but it was a decent defense mechanism to make himself feel better. Was Matsuda just putting on an act? He had to be, didn't he?

Work, work, work. Matsuda tried to keep his mind off of his co-worker and the night prior for the sake of forgetting what had happened and the feelings he had felt. Ide didn't love him, and the words that had proved it would rip through his mind if he didn't prevent it by thinking of something else. It was a pain trying to act like nothing was wrong, but it was well worth it. He didn't want to explain what had gotten him so down: "Oh, its just that Ide-san doesn't love me" would definitely not fly. If anything, he'd be yelled at by Aizawa that he should be taking things more seriously, instead of trying to date another task force member and complicate everything more than it already was.

Matsuda could just picture Aizawa now: "Shut up, Matsuda," he would yell, "This isn't the time or place! Get back to work, and stop fooling around!" It wasn't really a funny situation, but a stifled chuckle escaped his lips regardless.

This laugh was picked up quite easily by the other's around him. Aizawa seemed to be the one most offended, "What are you laughing about?"

Shaking his head and grinning foolishly, Matsuda waved his hand dismissively. "Nothing, nothing. Sorry." Of course, he got back to his work quickly.

It is very difficult to focus when sleep deprived; Ide relearned this very quickly. Attention and focus were difficult to maintain, and his eyes felt so sore and dry from being so tired. Its even worse to get sleep if the hours are few and far between. Getting a small amount of sleep you are not used to simply exhausts you more than you would probably feel if you had not caught a quick nap. It was a vicious cycle, really. And didn't Ide know now.

A hand was placed on his shoulder, Ide jerked up from the sleep he hadn't realized he had fallen into. Looking up, embarrassed, he found Aizawa standing behind him.

A sympathetic look lingered in Aizawa's expression, "Are you alright, Ide-san? Maybe you should take the day off and get some rest. I'm sure Light wouldn't mind."

Ide nodded and stood, "Thank you, Aizawa-san."

There was no denying it. Ide needed sleep. He didn't like the idea of taking the whole day off, so he intended to get some rest and return later to take another shift. It worked perfectly fine. He would get some rest, and he wouldn't have to see Matsuda and feel bad about what had happened last night. Ide was out the moment his head hit his pillow.

Fade in; The room was empty, silent. Ide looked around the dark room in which the task force considered headquarters. All the monitors had been turned off, which was a rather strange sight to behold seeing as there was always someone watching them. He heard his name, which caused him to reel around to search for the person.

Aizawa stood by the door, though Ide couldn't remember seeing him when he came into the room. Nevertheless, he composed himself. To ask why the other man was here would be pointless--he worked here too.

"Hideki," Aizawa smiled.

Ide was confused. It felt strange to be called by his first name by a co-worker since it just wasn't customary. Still, he didn't question that. "What?"

He shook his head, "I've been meaning to tell you, but I've always been afraid to. I love you, Hideki. I love you."

Upon hearing the words, Ide's heart fluttered. "D-do you… really?"

Solemnly, Aizawa nodded. "I do."

This confession was soon followed up by a passionate kiss, and Ide could feel the other man's hand slowly sliding down his ba--

Ide was jerked awake by the sound of a grating beeping-- otherwise known as an alarm clock. Groaning not only because it was annoying and that he was still tired, but also because, in all honesty, he had been enjoying the dream he'd been having. It had been the first time that he'd had a dream of that nature, particularly about his co-worker Aizawa. Feeling such a way, though, was not a new experience. Still, hearing what the Aizawa in his dream had said, he still hadn't gotten the jittery feeling out of his stomach. Either way, he got himself decent again and headed back to work.

Once back in the room with those on shift, Ide was greeted with a smile from Matsuda, "Feeling better, Ide-san?"

The reply was an absent-minded nod. Though, when he thought about it, Ide felt pretty guilty having had a dream about Aizawa right after he'd turned down Matsuda's feelings. Sure, he couldn't control what kind of dreams he had or where his affections lied, but he could help but feel that it was wrong to be thinking of anyone else right after rejecting someone else. There had to be something morally wrong with that.

Likewise, Matsuda nodded before returning back to reading through the papers he had been given to look through. He didn't really mind the lack of verbal response; he didn't think much of it and besides, it was never good to think too far into something someone did who you were trying to get out of your head. Besides, there was no reason to expect anything other than a nod.

The more he thought about Aizawa, the more he felt bad about rejecting Matsuda. The more he felt bad about rejecting Matsuda, the more Ide thought about Matsuda. The more Ide thought about Matsuda, the more he felt bad about rejecting Matsuda. From there, he thought more about Aizawa and then it started all over again. Frustrated by this cyclical thought pattern, Ide rubbed his head and frowned. He much preferred reading about love triangles than living one. It was a lot easier.

It was easy to notice something had been bugging Ide, especially because Matsuda rarely--if ever--saw his co-worker distressed. The thought of it bothered him, but he didn't think it was appropriate to fuss about it. Ide was a man, and men had to work out their own problems. Matsuda didn't want to step in on that unless he was approached about it. He'd already overstepped enough boundaries for the week.

Nearing the end of the shift, Matsuda finally decided to say something. "Hey, Ide-san," Matsuda grinned, perching his chin on his upright forearm.

Ide glanced over, hoping it wasn't another pitch at becoming romantically involved.

"You seem down. Want to go drinking tonight?"

He considered it a moment, unsure if he should or not. However, the need to forget his troubles overcame the feeling that he should go out. "Alright."

A triumphant laugh escaped him, "Good. We can go after the shift."

It seemed like forever before the shift was over, and eagerness was making it hard for Matsuda to focus on the task at hand. Eventually, of course, the time rolled around and they were free to leave for a while. He waited on Ide before they left.

Along the way, Ide began questioning himself. Why did he accept? He didn't like to drink too much, but he figured it may be good that he didn't: they needed someone to drive afterward and it was difficult to guess how Matsuda would be after this trip. Hopefully nothing would get complicated…

After some time at the bar, Ide had found that Matsuda had become quite drunk. No, no; it got worse than that.

Matsuda chuckled in a drunk manner with a grin to suit, "Ide-san~!" He slung his arm around Ide's shoulders and pulled him close, "I'll tell you what~!"

"W-what?" Ide was sure it was going to be something embarrassing.

He tried to look serious, which didn't amount to much. "I think you're sexy! Not my type, but what the hell! I'd have sex with you!"

Looking around nervously, Ide hoped that his co-worker hadn't drawn any attention to them. Meanwhile, he could feel his cheeks burning up with embarrassment. "Uh…"

"No, no. Really! I'd have sex with you, Ide-san! Don't be shy~!" That so-called serious expression of his was still not working out, even though he thought he was saying the most profound of things. In fact, he didn't realize how uncomfortable it was making the other man.

Ide frowned, "M-Matsuda-san, you're drunk."

"No~! I'm just a little tipsy, s'all! Trust me~ I know my limits!"

"Lets go back to headquarters."

"Oh, you dirty bastard~!" Grinning and misconstruing the entire thing, Matsuda mussed Ide's hair with the hand which was over Ide's shoulder.

Ignoring the statement, Ide herded his drunken co-worker to the car to drive him back. It was already getting late and he was feeling quite uncomfortable.

Again Matsuda laughed, "I never knew you were so rough~! But don't worry! Hehe~ I don't mind that you are~!"

It was difficult not to speed. Ide wanted to get back as soon as possible, and had to catch himself every so often when he found himself exceeding the speed limit. The sight of the building in which headquarters was in was welcomed, and made Ide even more anxious to get back.

Once there, he had to again heard Matsuda. This time to his room.

No sooner, they had gotten to Matsuda's room. Ide had walked him there, and tried to leave him on the bed and leave. However, Matsuda had different ideas.

Before Ide had the chance to leave, Matsuda grabbed him by the tie and pulled toward himself so that Ide's face was only inches from his own. "Where do you think you're going?"

The smell of alcohol on his co-worker's breath was terrible. The man winced, "I'm going back to my room. Try to get some rest, Matsuda-san."

The drunken man pouted, "Ide-saaaa~n. Don't play hard to get. Its not a turn on, that's for sure."

Ide shook his head, "Stop it, Matsuda-san."

Simply, Matsuda grinned.

"Wha--"

Before Ide could retort, he was pulled sharply into a kiss by his tie. The taste of vodka and other various drinks was quite apparent, especially when Matsuda tried to force his tongue into his mouth. Not wanting this to occur, he tried to pull away. The tie pressed immediately into the back of his neck when he jerked backwards, which was quite a surprise and a sudden pain. Quickly, he tugged the tie right out of his drunken co-worker's tie. Or rather, tried.

Matsuda released the tie and dropped backward on the bed, arms spread for no reason other than the fact that they just ended up there. He spent a little time just looking at the man with a drunken smile until he ended up falling asleep where he lay.

It was a relief, honestly, but Ide felt bad leaving the man in that condition. What if he were to throw up in his sleep? It was a disgusting thought, but legitimate enough. Drowning on your own vomit, what a nasty way to go… Sighing, Ide took a seat in a chair.

He hoped that, if Matsuda stayed asleep, he could make sure that the man would make it alright while not having to worry about being flirted with… poorly. Unfortunately, in the meantime, he ended up dozing off himself.

The next morning, Matsuda awoke feeling like he'd been hit by a bus a few times. Not to mention the fatigue. Rubbing his head, he groaned and got up. When he'd gone drinking, he hadn't expected to drink as much as he had. Frankly, he'd lost touch about just how much he'd had; it was an easy thing to do when drinking, after all. Why did he have to have hard liquor?

From the corner of his eye, Matsuda spotted a figure. Startled, he turned to face them. "… Ide-san?" To say that he wasn't surprised would be a lie. Sure, he had been out drinking with the other man, but why was he here? "Oh, don't tell me…" Matsuda mumbled to himself.

Ide stirred and looked at Matsuda groggily.

"Ide-san… Did we..?" He didn't remember getting intimate with Ide, but he wasn't certain if he could have just forgotten it because of the alcohol.

"No," Ide shook his head to suit his answer. There needn't be a reason to say more.

Matsuda nodded slowly, nodding any faster would kill his head. "Sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"Whatever I said or did last night."

Ide shook his head, "Its alright. You just got carried away."

"Are you sure..? I'm sure I said things that made you really uncomfortable… I wanted to bring you out so you could get whatever you had on your mind off it, and let you have a good time. But instead, I just made you have to deal with me drunk."

"It's alright…"

"I don't understand why it would be," Matsuda frowned. He felt awful about it.

"Because I love you," Ide admitted quietly. His gaze was averted, fearing that he might provoke teasing from Matsuda or that Matsuda had changed his mind about him over time.

This was definitely not a reason that Matsuda had expected. However, to hear it out of his renewed love interest's mouth, in his voice, caused an excited fluttering sensation in his stomach. He wanted to hear it again, but thought it would be emasculating to dwell too much on it.

Matsuda threw his arms around him and grinned, "I'm so glad!"

Although Ide hesitated, the embrace was soon requited. He felt a huge burden lift off his chest, glad that it was now gone. Still, he could not believe this was happening-- no matter the details of the situation. It couldn't be. Sure, he could see and feel the other man in his arms; he never expected this. He had tried giving dating women a shot before, but he never felt successful in his attempts even on the off chance that he was able to have a girlfriend. Ide had never really thought much about this, really-- despite that he never really felt fully satisfied.

Not only that, but Ide had been wrestling with what he should do about the love triangle that existed in his feelings. It had finally won out that he at least had a chance with Matsuda who had feelings for him, against a man that had a wife and children.

The close embrace soon ended. Matsuda pulled away slightly, grinning in a teasing manner, "I thought you'd never admit it."


End file.
